my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
