this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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