i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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