I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
