why didn't you poke me back
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize