do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
