By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
