Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
