If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
PANTIES FOUND
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