You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
