She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
