areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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