I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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