I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Operation Purity has been aborted
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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