her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
