do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i think we sleep fucked last night...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
