You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk is a universal language darling
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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