a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
