I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
