He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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