your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
