Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
