Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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