I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
NoShamevember. You game?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
