How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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