i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
