hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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