I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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