yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
