i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
