i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize