She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
