I'm really into asian looking animals
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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