I wish I could punch you in the face.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
