Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
