i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
