I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
