we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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