can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
