i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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