The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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