I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
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