I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
