that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
