You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
