butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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