it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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