so that wasnt chicken after all
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
