We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize