Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
