i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Green mimosas i think yes
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
