Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize