Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
