have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this beer tastes like vomit already
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
