you're like a bully in the Christmas story
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
