perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
