dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
