just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
